Sunday, November 24, 2013
Book for Parents
JESUS CALLING - Sarah Young I was told about this book one week and the next week I received it from my step mother. She told me that it was helping her as she was dealing with some stressful times. In the beginning of the devotional Sarah Young explains how she came to write this book. The book is written as Jesus is talking to you. I have been reading it daily before I even get out of bed. The peace Jesus is giving me through this devotional is amazing. It is my recommendation that you get this book to help you through anything you are going through. I am planning on giving these out as gifts.
The Holidays
The holidays are upon us. To foster children, adopted children and their families, this can be the hardest time of the year. Until the parents have been through a few of these each holiday is a new adventure and generally not in a fun way.
Our oldest spent almost the first four years of her life being with us destroying our time and hers. Because she didn't communicate well the first couple of years we had no idea what was going on. One year on her birthday, we canceled the family party because she had been extremely out of control and I wasn't going to put other people through what we had experienced. After giving her, her presents and finding her in a calm mood. I asked her, " What is going on? This is your birthday it's suppose to be fun."
She replied, " My mom never bought me a backpack for school, she never gave me school clothes, she never gave me food......." Then she proceeded to list all of her 4 siblings one at a time repeating what she had said about herself. Wow! That is what was on her mind the whole time. Who would know that would bother her, after we had given those things to her?
I can say now after 10 years she has settled into our routine and traditions. Her sister who came 5 years ago, has her own baggage. She has handled it totally different. Because she was adopted for 5 years, she thought she had her forever family. When she first came to us, she had fantasy stories of her holidays with her adopted mom and grandparents. Her adopted mom had told us what really happened so we know most of it wasn't true. But do I have to say, her outlook made things a little easier. She anticipated each holiday with great enthusiasm enjoying new traditions and stories of past holidays. Unfortunately, she has now used some of those stories and placed herself in them even though she was not with us : )
To those of you who are caring for children outside of your family for the holidays, my prayers go out to you. God will bless you and the children through you as you rely on His peace and wisdom.
Happy Thanksgiving!!
Our oldest spent almost the first four years of her life being with us destroying our time and hers. Because she didn't communicate well the first couple of years we had no idea what was going on. One year on her birthday, we canceled the family party because she had been extremely out of control and I wasn't going to put other people through what we had experienced. After giving her, her presents and finding her in a calm mood. I asked her, " What is going on? This is your birthday it's suppose to be fun."
She replied, " My mom never bought me a backpack for school, she never gave me school clothes, she never gave me food......." Then she proceeded to list all of her 4 siblings one at a time repeating what she had said about herself. Wow! That is what was on her mind the whole time. Who would know that would bother her, after we had given those things to her?
I can say now after 10 years she has settled into our routine and traditions. Her sister who came 5 years ago, has her own baggage. She has handled it totally different. Because she was adopted for 5 years, she thought she had her forever family. When she first came to us, she had fantasy stories of her holidays with her adopted mom and grandparents. Her adopted mom had told us what really happened so we know most of it wasn't true. But do I have to say, her outlook made things a little easier. She anticipated each holiday with great enthusiasm enjoying new traditions and stories of past holidays. Unfortunately, she has now used some of those stories and placed herself in them even though she was not with us : )
To those of you who are caring for children outside of your family for the holidays, my prayers go out to you. God will bless you and the children through you as you rely on His peace and wisdom.
Happy Thanksgiving!!
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Well one issue down and many more to go. We finally got our daughter's name changed on her social security card. After almost 3 weeks! I had taken her to the Social Security Office, sat there with her for an hour and a half. When we finally saw someone, we were at the counter for 3 minutes. I was told I had to have the original court orders. I had copies. My husband and I tore the house apart and had no idea what happened to the "original" court orders. A couple of friends of mine, one who works at the court building and another who has a friend in the court building, helped me. After 3 weeks of conversations and phone calls, we were told, "No one has the original they are filed in the court." DUH! So I took my daughter out of school again, fortunately we only sat for an hour this time. I explained everything to the man at the counter and he said, "Yeah that guy is new and is going through training right now." Wow!
Many don't know all that is involved with adopting children. I certainly didn't. My husband and I would l never change a thing, our daughters are truly a blessing. We could not even imagine where we would be or for that matter where our daughters would be if God hadn't brought us together. To be trusted by God with these two beautiful girls is amazing. To see what they came out of and where they are now is hard to even describe.
After 10 years for our oldest and 5 years for our youngest it is still hard for them to trust new circumstances and people. Our extended family still is strange to them. For our oldest if she doesn't see you weekly, she tends to treat you like a stranger. This can be difficult for the average person to understand. The girls learned early on, that people were not to be trusted and only they could protect themselves. To this day, my oldest will question me when I am driving, where I am going.
I had someone the other day say, "I don't understand what is so hard about responding to a simple hello." I responded that most of us have not experienced the kind of rejection, neglect, abuse, etc that these children have. I know I did not grow up in an abusive home, but as the youngest of four, I learned early on that I had nothing worthy to say, because I could never get a word in edge wise. So I spent most of my childhood and adult life being very quiet. But most will tell you I have made up for that now.
Anyway, I'm not a psychologist, but sometimes I think I play one at home, the girls are very complicated. God is truly trying to teach me to not "......lean on my own understanding, but trust in the Lord..." I always thought I did trust the Lord until this year when I keep saying, "But I don't understand......" and God reminds me, "I told you,it's not your job to understand, your job is to be obedient."
Many don't know all that is involved with adopting children. I certainly didn't. My husband and I would l never change a thing, our daughters are truly a blessing. We could not even imagine where we would be or for that matter where our daughters would be if God hadn't brought us together. To be trusted by God with these two beautiful girls is amazing. To see what they came out of and where they are now is hard to even describe.
After 10 years for our oldest and 5 years for our youngest it is still hard for them to trust new circumstances and people. Our extended family still is strange to them. For our oldest if she doesn't see you weekly, she tends to treat you like a stranger. This can be difficult for the average person to understand. The girls learned early on, that people were not to be trusted and only they could protect themselves. To this day, my oldest will question me when I am driving, where I am going.
I had someone the other day say, "I don't understand what is so hard about responding to a simple hello." I responded that most of us have not experienced the kind of rejection, neglect, abuse, etc that these children have. I know I did not grow up in an abusive home, but as the youngest of four, I learned early on that I had nothing worthy to say, because I could never get a word in edge wise. So I spent most of my childhood and adult life being very quiet. But most will tell you I have made up for that now.
Anyway, I'm not a psychologist, but sometimes I think I play one at home, the girls are very complicated. God is truly trying to teach me to not "......lean on my own understanding, but trust in the Lord..." I always thought I did trust the Lord until this year when I keep saying, "But I don't understand......" and God reminds me, "I told you,it's not your job to understand, your job is to be obedient."
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Blessings
Have you ever heard the song Blessings? It's by Laura Story. Check it out. The past month I have had to remind myself that all that is happening in our family is building my character to be more like Christ. I certainly don't like all of the work being a stay at home mom of three teenagers mean, two of which have varying special needs, but I know that God is growing me to be what He wants me to be for His glory and my good. I am also very grateful that God has given me the opportunity to be home for my children and many days I enjoy them so much. I enjoy the young adults they are becoming.
Between trying to gain legal custody of our oldest adopted daughter, changing her name legally, applying for Social Sec. Disability for her and her daily needs sometimes I feel like I am going crazy. Then my son who is intellectually a college student and chronologically & emotionally a normal teenage boy needs help in keeping focused on priorities such as; homework, finding a university to attend next year, working on Eagle Scout Project, working and keeping a social life. Finally, our youngest daughter whom we took legal custody of after being adopted by someone else, is a very "normal teenage girl" in some ways, but very immature emotionally and doesn't quite grasp the idea of consequences. They are all blessings and I know God has given them to us for a reason. My husband and I wouldn't change a thing about each of them.
God has blessed me with friends who not only let me vent when things are constantly coming at me, but also help me connect with people who can help.
Between trying to gain legal custody of our oldest adopted daughter, changing her name legally, applying for Social Sec. Disability for her and her daily needs sometimes I feel like I am going crazy. Then my son who is intellectually a college student and chronologically & emotionally a normal teenage boy needs help in keeping focused on priorities such as; homework, finding a university to attend next year, working on Eagle Scout Project, working and keeping a social life. Finally, our youngest daughter whom we took legal custody of after being adopted by someone else, is a very "normal teenage girl" in some ways, but very immature emotionally and doesn't quite grasp the idea of consequences. They are all blessings and I know God has given them to us for a reason. My husband and I wouldn't change a thing about each of them.
God has blessed me with friends who not only let me vent when things are constantly coming at me, but also help me connect with people who can help.
We had a frost in Michigan yesterday. It actually looked like a thin layer of snow on the ground. I love Fall in Michigan and feel very blessed to see it every year. In honor of the frost I made these cookies yesterday. They are easy to make, unique and yummy!
Michigan Pumpkin Frost Cookies
2 c butter 2 eggs
2 tsp vanilla 2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt 2 c sugar
2 c pumpkin 4 c flour
2 tsp baking soda 2 tsp cinnamon
1 c chopped walnuts 1 c raisins
_________________________________________________________________________________
2 c brown sugar, firmly packed 6 Tbsp butter
8 Tbsp milk 2 c powdered sugar
Cream butter and 2 c sugar. Add eggs, pumpkin and vanilla. Sift together flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt and cinnamon and stir into creamed mixture. Add raisins and nuts. Drop by teaspoonfuls on greased cookie sheet and bake in preheated 350 degree oven for 12 minutes. When cookies are cool, frost with icing.
To make icing: Boil brown sugar, 6 Tbsp butter and milk for 2 minutes, cool. Add powdered sugar and stir to desired consistency. Spread on cookies
Michigan Pumpkin Frost Cookies
2 c butter 2 eggs
2 tsp vanilla 2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt 2 c sugar
2 c pumpkin 4 c flour
2 tsp baking soda 2 tsp cinnamon
1 c chopped walnuts 1 c raisins
_________________________________________________________________________________
2 c brown sugar, firmly packed 6 Tbsp butter
8 Tbsp milk 2 c powdered sugar
Cream butter and 2 c sugar. Add eggs, pumpkin and vanilla. Sift together flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt and cinnamon and stir into creamed mixture. Add raisins and nuts. Drop by teaspoonfuls on greased cookie sheet and bake in preheated 350 degree oven for 12 minutes. When cookies are cool, frost with icing.
To make icing: Boil brown sugar, 6 Tbsp butter and milk for 2 minutes, cool. Add powdered sugar and stir to desired consistency. Spread on cookies
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